Practical Spirituality
Join this fascinating discussion between Kim, a behavioral specialist with a deep curiosity about spirituality, and Gareth, a spiritual channel of Michael, as they address and explore the biggest and most meaningful questions we face in our day-to-day lives. Featuring direct, open and informed conversations about the things that impact us the most - from self-love and self-acceptance through to channeling and spiritual understandings. Discover new ways to connect to the deeper meaning of the world around you and understand the one within you. Become a Supporter at https://www.garethmichael.com/ to join our community and get early access to new episodes, answers to your personal questions and so much more.
Practical Spirituality
Living in the Present Moment
In this episode of the Practical Spirituality Podcast, Gareth and Kim dive into the often misunderstood concept of living in the present. They challenge the idea that being present requires detaching from, or ignoring, all thought of the past and future. Instead, they redefine being present as an active practice of connecting with the mind, body, emotions, and soul, rather than simply avoiding distraction.
The hosts explore how unresolved emotional wounds can disrupt peace in the present, shaping coping mechanisms that lead to daily unease. By reframing the mind as an ally, they encourage listeners to build a compassionate relationship with their thoughts, trace their roots, and ease anxiety about the future. By exploring within, we can foster self-acceptance and, over time, develop a more harmonious inner life.
They also bridge science and spirituality, highlighting the neurobiology of addiction and how it influences our experience of being in the present moment. This perspective shows how thoughts and emotions can become tools for growth rather than barriers to growth. With a focus on compassion, intentional practice, and supportive resources, Gareth and Kim offer practical guidance for transforming struggle into healing and fulfillment, paving the way for a more peaceful, balanced life.
Become a Community Member at https://community.garethmichael.com/ to join our community and get early access to new episodes, answers to your personal questions and so much more.
Welcome back to the Practical Spirituality Podcast. We are so excited to have you on this journey with us, where we explore all elements of mind, body, emotions and soul through the lens of everyday life.
Speaker 2:Hello Kim.
Speaker 1:Hi, karis. How are you? I'm doing good. Happy New Year. Happy New Year to you, too. What are we going to talk about this week?
Speaker 2:Well, I think it's a very familiar topic in the world of spirituality self-help, self-exploration. It is exploring what does it really mean to live in the world of spirituality, self-help, self-exploration. It is exploring what does it really mean to live in the present.
Speaker 1:This is a great topic. This is a great topic because I think people have no idea what it means, because there's so many conflicting views out there.
Speaker 2:And this is why it's quite an intimidating topic for us to talk about, and the reason why I say that because this could be a 10-hour podcast if we dive into this yes, it could be you know, because I do think there's so many different angles to approach it with, and when you start actually exploring all the different material out there and how all these different authors and individuals talk about the present moment and the uses of the present moment, it can be a lot to wrap your head around and a lot to dive into. So I think it would just be an interesting conversation for us to explore and you never know there might be well, I know there will be many more episodes that will come out of this topic alone.
Speaker 1:I'm sure there will be, because there's just so much around it. I mean we can simplify it, but that's not what we want to do. We want to really get in and help people. Look at all the different ways people talk about living in the present. Look at the fears around what that actually means, how we avoid it or sometimes how we use it as an excuse, like with so many of these spiritual topics. That's what I think gets very interesting, is it almost becomes spiritual armor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, without realizing it, a lot of people use spirituality to run away from their own reality.
Speaker 2:And I think when it comes to the present moment or living in the present moment, I often say to my own clients well, it's hard for you never not to be in the present moment.
Speaker 2:So, whether you're trying to or not, you're always in the present moment with self and let it be in mind body, emotions and all the different combinations of how they can present themselves in that moment. And even if you're thinking about the past, you're thinking about the present, you're thinking about the future. Regardless of any of those things you're also thinking about. You're thinking about those also in the present and there's a reason for why they're coming up present day, in that present moment in time. But if you look at a lot of the teachings out there, it can be construed that to be in the present moment means absolute silence and that's kind of the expectation or where the bar is set for a lot of people, that to be in the present moment you can't be in the past, you can't be in the future, you can't be in thought, you can't be in your body and you can't be in emotion. That's quite a task.
Speaker 1:Well, I call that death. Like, honestly, there are moments of peace that we have in our lives, but to be in that state 24-7 is not very realistic, is it?
Speaker 2:No, oh, the idea of eternal rest sounds great right now, doesn't it?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean honestly, if you think about it, when you look at some of those definitions, it's like how are you living if you are in that space? You cannot possibly be experiencing life at the same time if you're pretty much blocking all of life out yeah, and it's not that we're trying to be negative towards these teachings.
Speaker 2:I just think it sets an unrealistic expectation of what's actually achievable and therefore it's very easy to become very hard on ourselves, as we're the problem when trying to achieve that.
Speaker 2:So once again, it's an oversimplification of the importance of the present moment and what is actually designed to offer you, or what the energy or your energy is trying to bring up in that moment for you to try to understand about your past, present, future or the different departments within oneself of mind, body, body, emotion, soul. So I think when we learn the language of the importance of the present moment and what is trying to show any of us in our individual paths, it can become a very interesting conversation. But if you oversimplify it, I think it can become quite toxic in its own way. It took me a long time, and even in my introduction with Michael, to actually be able to really see that for what it was. But it's only when I was able to question and start developing those answers and that relationship with myself, it became quite clear of the importance of the present moment. But in a lot of the understandings I also had to let go of in order to develop that relationship with myself.
Speaker 1:And I think my experience with it is is because the way that I learned about present moment, I was striving so hard for that, which meant denying everything that happened prior or not allowing myself to focus on anything that happened prior to that, which would throw a real spanner in the works because of the complex trauma that I survived.
Speaker 1:It was constantly being brought back to the present which constantly felt like I was being a failure and because of certain awarenesses I didn't have in my own life, then I was struggling to figure out how to be here but also understand that at the same time, which is I know what we want to dive more into.
Speaker 1:But that is one of the conflicting things that happens, because if you don't even know what being present means in the present moment and you have a misunderstanding about that, then it's just another tool to shame you when things are brought to your attention, whether that be past or present or future. When it's brought to your attention, you're like well, I shouldn't be doing this, and you'll hear a lot of those should words come up. And I know that that was my own misunderstanding, like you were talking about. I didn't have an understanding of it. I'm not putting any teachings down, but there is that level of you don't need to go there. In some of the teachings you don't need to go back to the past, and it's like, well, I don't want to go back there and live there, but I need to understand it.
Speaker 2:But I think that's what's interesting, what what you're saying, because you and I often talk about you can't explore every part of your past, of everything you've ever been through.
Speaker 2:We'd never ask anyone to do that but what's very interesting about being in the present moment? The present moment is constantly going to bring you back to very specific points within your past that it wants you to understand today and right now, in this moment. So being in the present moment with elements of your past is actually what helps unlock yourself present day and helps open up your future. But it is your energy that is guiding that in your mind, body and emotions, with your past, present and future. And that is the spiritual journey, and I think that's where we can get confusing about it, because when we're spending that time pushing those things away, we just make ourselves actually have to work harder to try to get our attention in new, creative ways. So if we're not taught this, though, we can understand how that can be so conflicting and so confusing for any person on this journey, as it was for you and I.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. It was very conflicting and because of the type of coping mechanisms I had picked up over the years through the stuff that had happened to me, I had a real avoidance of the present moment because that represented reality and reality always represented pain. So for many years of my life I spent it not wanting to be here in the present and then when I started to work on myself some of the different definitions I got of it, it was like well, that's almost too much, because I hated reality.
Speaker 1:I certainly don't want to live in that present moment and everything that that means as well.
Speaker 2:But I think that's what's not taught in a lot of the material that we talk about. It's that the present moment is often painful before it is peaceful.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, because, as you said, a lot of us did not escape childhood without some sort of trauma, regardless of what we want to call trauma in this particular episode. But when we're sitting with ourselves which a lot of us have not been taught to do, don't know how to do, and we don't have the skills or the tools to be able to understand mind, body, emotions and what that presents, expect anyone to be able just to sit in the present moment and to be at peace. I think is so unrealistic and unfair to be even to utter those words, as if that should be the expectation from the start.
Speaker 1:I agree. And the other thing that really gave me such a hard time at the beginning of my journey is what I kept getting told when I was trying to understand what it meant to be in the present. Oh, that's your mind. Oh, that's your mind. Disregard, that's just your mind. I'm like, well, okay, it might be my mind, but it's. It has to be here for a reason. I'm I'm trying to understand how to be in this present that you're talking about, but if this is continually showing up, how do I you know? What I was being taught was oh, just stop the mind. But that's one of the greatest teachings I learned from you along this journey was oh, yes, that is the mind, but it's showing up for a reason.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If I could help people understand when the original events happened that we tried to avoid are showing up in the present. They're showing up because we now have different coping skills, we have different awarenesses that now we can look at it through a different lens and understand it, which is what's going to prevent it from continuing to show up and create havoc in your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I think what we need to understand is that the mind is not trying to make your life increasingly difficult. It's not. It's constantly searching for answers upon the past events that it's still trying to understand. And if we're not able to feed it information to help process these events and mind-body emotions, then how do we expect it to quiet and down or to be at peace when it is all stored in our subconscious and conscious mind? So, therefore, it's not going to be at peace because actually it loves us enough to want to keep fighting for the answers that we deserve.
Speaker 2:But was any of us taught that? No, it's actually trying to guide us and trying to support us and trying to heal us, but of course, a lot of us run that negative bias as you often talk about, and because we don't have control over it, we feel it's working against us because it tends to be so negative. But then we never have talked to ask why is it so negative? Where is this coming from? How could I begin to build a relationship with this part of me? Is it easy? No, but it's not easy because we were never taught it's possible to actually have a good relationship with this and where to start, it's not impossible. But when no one around us was capable of doing it, of course it's going to seem impossible, but that's not our fault.
Speaker 1:It's not only going to seem impossible, but it feels so damn uncomfortable and we don't understand it.
Speaker 1:Then, because so many people have told us throughout our life, or at least myself, how I was failing at this thing called life, and these events kept showing up and creating more patterns because I didn't have the understanding.
Speaker 1:Now that creates that whole different aspect which keeps people from living in the present, is now I'm really worried about the future and my goal has to be live in the future, figure it all out, have a plan so that, if I know every little thing that's going to live in the future, figure it all out, have a plan so that if I know every little thing that's going to happen in the future, then I'm going to be safe from all those terrible things that happened in my past. And we actually miss the opportunity to gain that understanding, to let go of that fear and all that worry that gets created from trying to avoid the past. And this is what drives me crazy about some of the teachings, because it's like, well, don't go back there and don't go up there, but I'm a bundle of all this stuff that hasn't been resolved. How am I supposed to be here if I have all of this running around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the teachings are don't do this, don't do that. So then I don't do this and I don't do that, but yet I'm still doing it wrong.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly.
Speaker 2:And I'm still not present. But I am present, but I'm not. Am I at peace? This doesn't feel like peace. This feels like confusion and self-loathing.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I think that is one of the hardest things for most people coming into this. Hardest things for most people coming into this because it's just like with anything we learn. Whether we are learning a new modality, whether we're learning we're reading a new spiritual book and there's new concepts and ideas in that we take it so literally instead of having the understanding that this is here as a tool and it's something that we can use to process. It doesn't mean we're going to cut it all out or not do it. It just means how about we take this process and not use it to avoid, but use it to experience and gain a better understanding? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2:It makes a lot of sense and I think this is why, when you dive into people's understandings of how to start being in the present moment, the first thing you always hear is starting to observe your thoughts, and that can be obviously a very daunting place to start, because when you start doing that, we often don't have control of where our thoughts take us, whether that be the past, present, future, different experiences from the past that we've gone through, and that naturally brings up a lot of emotions and a lot of questions. So this is where, in my experience of how I started to build a better relationship with the present moment was when my as I mentioned earlier, I had my relationship with Michael so a lot of other authors and how they talked about being in the present moment. It just didn't work for me. It didn't work for how my mind, the relationship I had with my mind, my emotions in my body. I wanted it to work. I tried my best to make those teachings work for me. It just didn't stick and that's okay and it took me a long time that I am so happy for those authors that their way worked for them, and this is where you and I have talked about this before.
Speaker 2:Not everyone's version of spirituality is going to work for every single person on the planet exactly.
Speaker 2:You have to try multiple different teachings, you have to figure out what works for you and what doesn't, and that evolves so much that anyone's given life.
Speaker 2:Where it changed for me is that when I met Michael, my mind was jumping into the past, the future, the present mind, body, emotions. When I met Michael, it was the first time, sitting with his energy in mind, that I was able to ask any single question that was coming to mind and to get immediate, logical answers. And through doing that time and time again, through journaling and sitting with myself, I found that my mind was starting to be at peace because I was able to process what I didn't have the opportunity to before because I didn't have access to the information. And then, with that, then my emotions started to settle, then my body started to settle, and then my body started to settle and then I was able to experience peace in ways I never had before. But I had to start with my mind, then my emotions, then my body, and that's how it worked for me. Does that mean it's going to work for the next person? Maybe, maybe not.
Speaker 2:But that's where getting and feeding the mind the information that it didn't have access to was the first step in my ability to find peace in the present moment. But in that present moment I was for myself and how I was built. I had nothing but questions appearing on an ongoing basis because my mind didn't understand so many things from my past and had so many why questions. And, if I look back, it was so unfair to me to expect me to be at peace when so many of those things were unresolved and there were so many whys. Let's take a step back from this week's episode and share with everyone what we've been up to behind the scenes.
Speaker 1:We're really excited to be able to finally offer the Gareth Michael community to each of you. The community offers a range of benefits, including access to our live events, weekly podcast episodes, articles, self-checking questions, as well as a community of individuals you can connect with and interact with along the way. It's designed to offer you support, guidance and a safe space on a day-to-day basis. We'd love to have you join our global community of like-minded individuals. That website address, again, is wwwgarethmichaelcom. Now let's get back to that episode, shall we? So I think I was listening to you and I go. It's really funny our different experiences that bring us to this, because, as many people have heard me say on this podcast before, my experience is a lot different. I'm sure I have a Michael back there somewhere, but not hearing them very well, everything else gets in the way.
Speaker 1:But what used to happen for me? As you know, I got told so many times by so many professionals that I was a hopeless cause because I didn't have this thing they called affect regulation. And I will never forget the day I was sitting in a seminar, a lecture, listening to this gentleman talk about the neurobiology of addiction, and he gave that model of how the mind codes information and what happens when you get triggered and what the mind's response to that is. And I remember feeling like you know this big epiphany that I'd been waiting for in all the spiritual development workshops I've been to that didn't happen. I'm sitting in this science class basically about the neurobiology of addiction, and this man explains what happens in the mind and I went what Really Is.
Speaker 1:That's what's happening, because when I got that, when the mind gets triggered into a past event in that 0.007th of a millisecond, and all these things happen in your body, you are not in the present. You are feeling the emotions. Those emotions are there, that you're coming from that emotional state when the event really originally happened. It's not because you're doing it wrong, it's because these emotions haven't been resolved. And that is the mind's way of saying here is a new opportunity to resolve something that you couldn't resolve back then. It was one you know I share it so many times because it was one of the biggest epiphanies I had and I was like whoever thought science was going to give me the answer of how to be with me.
Speaker 1:Yep, I was like whoever thought science was going to give me the answer of how to be with me? Yeah, because I'd been searching for it in the spirituality, but that was just creating more conflict for me. That was what my issue was. I couldn't stop my mind, I couldn't silence my mind. I couldn't stay present, as they were saying, and I didn't understand why I couldn't stay present. Stay present, as they were saying, and I didn't understand why I couldn't stay present. And when this person explained that, I went oh, that's why I can't stay present. That's what's happening. It's not actually a bad thing. It's something that, if I start to really pay attention to, I can now understand the past in a different way. It doesn't have to keep haunting me, for lack of a better word. It was still a logical, analytical experience that helped me understand what being present actually means. And if I'm present when this is happening to the best of my ability, then I'm going to be able to process what it means and the emotions that come with it at that time.
Speaker 2:But to me, those are micro spiritual awakenings in their own way, because they're new perspective and new realizations about self that weren't there before and it really does change how you interact with self and the people around you, moving forward, but you're not being asked to sacrifice anything. Exactly Because, I think when it comes to a lot of the modern day spiritual teachings, it's like you can't do this, you can't do that, you can't think that way and you can't allow the mind and you can't allow the emotions in, right, whereas it's kind of like that's not. I didn't want to live under having to be under more control of myself and then, if I lose control, and then I'm not semi-spiritual and I'm not at peace and I'm not. I can't keep adding more rules and regulations and control to self than to expect to be at peace.
Speaker 1:I know, and it was like in the early days when I was taught just be the observer, just observe. So this is why this gentleman, what he said, affected me so much. Because I go, well, I go along and I'm observing, I'm observing what's happening and the next thing I know, all hell is broken loose and I'm in a major reaction and things are coming out of my mouth that I don't understand and I'm definitely no longer the observer and that used to make me feel like such a failure. Do you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:Exactly, I know exactly what you mean. Mean, and I think this is like going back to one of those famous statements that have been around for a very long time. You hear people say realizing that you know you're not your thoughts, because it's like yes and no, because to me it's that understanding where these thoughts come from, why they're being brought up in present day, the root of them, what they're trying to teach you and show you you are not that particular thought. It doesn't mean that that thought is the absolute truth, especially if it's saying something mean or negative towards self, but there's still a part of it where we have to take responsibility, for that thought is there for a reason and it's coming from a part of us present day because it's trying to show us something about ourselves.
Speaker 2:So to me saying realizing you are not your thoughts, once again, to me it's way too much of an oversimplification and it's very, it's too easy for people just to push it away and to completely avoid and miss the point of why those particular thoughts are there. And if you do that, there's no growth in avoiding it. Exactly, exactly, and like. You know how passionate I am about this because I'm saying anything that comes up with innocent mind, body emotions in our day to day lives in the present moment. It's happening for a reason, and just because you don't understand what that reason is does not mean you should disregard it. That reason is does not mean you should disregard it, especially when it's happening within you.
Speaker 1:Yes, and disregard it or avoid it. And this comes back to that point of the topic the importance of being present. Okay, so when you start to become aware that this moment that we're living in right now, regardless of what is showing up, that is the PowerPoint. So once I had the understanding of what the mind was doing and I'm no longer fighting the mind if I'm present and go, oh, oh, oh, okay, well, that's just happened and here are the emotions that are here. When have I felt like that before? Now, in the adult self that I have in this moment, I can review and understand what happened in such a different way, whereas if we're avoiding it and then we want to try and go back and backtrack and do what we've been taught to do, which is justify and rationalize most of the things that have happened to us, then we've missed the opportunity and it will come again. That's the beauty of how this process works.
Speaker 2:It's never going to just be avoided.
Speaker 1:That is guaranteed, but we've missed that moment to be able to understand ourselves in a different way. And that's what, if I could offer anything to people out there. That is the comfort of knowing when these things are being triggered in your present moment. It's not like you're being punished, it's not like you've done it wrong, it's not all of the things that we've been taught. It's an opportunity, and if we can grasp that opportunity in that moment to have the understanding, it becomes an extremely powerful moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I feel for most people, the present moment is allowing us to be able to question, to explore and to grow, and in in the present moment that can happen through our thoughts, through our emotions, through our body, through our past, through our present, through our future.
Speaker 2:If we're going into the present moment, which I talked about earlier, you're never not in the present moment. But if you're focusing in on the present moment and you're trying to control it, it's always interesting of the lash back the system our internal system is going to give to any of us, because I often say to my own clients is that if we're sitting in the present moment, that's actually where we should give ourselves the opportunity to let go of control, to open up our systems, to let it present whatever it it needs to present to us, and then we take that information, take responsibility for it, meaning to go explore and find the information of what does that actually mean and what it's presenting in any of those areas of our life. So to me it's like it's our own internal guide that we've been taught to not to trust.
Speaker 1:And you just said a mouthful. We've been taught not to trust it, and that is so true. You just said a mouthful. We've been taught not to trust it, and that is so true. And even in some of the spiritual teachings we're still taught not to trust it, and what I hope that people are hearing us say is learning how to trust what all of us is bringing to us is where we're going to get the greatest amount of growth, and what that looks like for each individual person is completely different. It is never going to be the same. That is why it's so hard to teach in some way spirituality, because it's different for every single person that is on the planet, and there are different times when people are ready to understand things than say, when I understood them or when you understood them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There are people that would say, like you're much younger and have deeper understandings than a lot of people going through life. So people would go oh, I wish I could have got this at your age. Well, I wasn't meant to get it at your age. Yeah, I had to have those experiences to have the understanding when it was time for me to have the understanding.
Speaker 2:But that's why it's divine design in its own right. On this word, you and I are never going to say that X is right and Y is wrong Again, it's never been that simple and it's never going to be that simple, but this is why it has to go back to self. The part of the job that I love the most when working with my clients is when they get to ask myself and Michael any questions they want. Meaning is that what's on your mind, what's going on emotionally, what's going on physically? What are the things that happen in life that you never had the opportunity to ask before and just to literally start providing their subconscious and conscious mind with information that they've never had the opportunity to actually to sit with. And you can see that when their mind starts to actually get access to some of this information and you see it with your clients as well, Kim it just completely changes their perspective of self.
Speaker 1:Completely, completely. And so what's interesting about that statement is, you know, in some of the modalities that I have learned, people talk about this going back and retrieving the memories and working through the memories and changing the memories. Technically, those terms could be considered right, but what it really is about is, if it's brought up, like you were saying, and you're able to question it and you're able to have that better understanding, that in itself changes how you perceived it, how you're processing it. The mind then doesn't have to continue to throw it in your face in the same way, and so you start to feel a whole lot more peace, and that comes with that understanding that you're talking about our clients get. When they can ask any of those questions, the mind goes, oh, oh, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:So I can't tell you how many clients I've worked with that have come in and said why does this keep happening to me? You know I've worked on it so many times. I'm like well, it's all about what we understand about it. So let's have a look at it and see what you need to understand differently. It doesn't mean that you haven't gained something when you looked at it in the past, because of course you have, but you're in a different space now, you have more awarenesses now, and so therefore, you're going to have a different understanding of the event when it shows up again, and I think that is one of the biggest beauties, because it takes the right and wrong out of it.
Speaker 2:Yep, and again, that ability just to ask as many why questions, as is often a luxury that none of us could afford throughout life, because throughout life we're always told who to be, how to act, how to respond, where to be. So suddenly, when you have the opportunity to understand self, as if you're talking to Google, a personalized Google but just ask any question about yourself that you want the answer to a personalized google, of just ask any question about yourself that you want the answer to, you can understand that suddenly your subconscious and conscious mind suddenly has the ability to breathe and see. This is what we've been searching for for our entire lives, of just being able to explore self and then you can see how the mind, with time, does settle, the emotions do settle and you can see elements of peace appear in many areas of your life. That wasn't possible before, for obvious reasons that we were talking about, because it just wasn't possible, because there's too many things gone unanswered right.
Speaker 1:So, then, living in the present takes on a completely different landscape, because you're no longer in that fight to avoid, fight to not fail, fight to not because that's how I used to represent it. It would feel like life was a fight and every day was a battleground that I had to get through. As you are present and you are able to question, you're able to have these understandings, you're able to process those emotions in the moment instead of trying to do it in hindsight. Then you have a completely different understanding. It doesn't feel so much like suffering.
Speaker 2:No, because if we haven't taught from day one the importance of suffering and the reality of it being present in everyone's lives but here's all the mental tools you'll need, here's all the emotions and how to express them, here's everything that's going to happen physically, off you go into the world, suffering wouldn't be as big of a problem. We would still experience suffering, like everyone does in their own way, to their own respects. But the fact that we all were never taught that this is a reality that we're all going to go through in life is why we even fight it a hundred times more than we should, which makes suffering much more difficult. So it doesn't even have these understandings. As we remove suffering completely, of course not, but as we reduce suffering, and where we get lost, caught and even snowed under by it, it reduces it incredibly.
Speaker 1:I agree 100%. And so there's another aspect I want to bring up that I want us to kind of hash out, because it's been in my face a little bit with my clients and with my family members, and that is when the mind has latched on to that, trying to pre-predict the future, because if I pre-predict it I have control. If I have control then I'm going to be safe. Now some people, as we just said, must go through that sort of thing for a certain while until they are ready to understand it.
Speaker 1:I get that, but if people could understand that only using that one aspect of ourself, that mind aspect, using that one aspect of ourself, that mind aspect and again I go back to this teaching that I got so many years ago when I was studying the neurobiology of addiction the mind is preset for the negative because it's a risk assessing machine, but it also can only give you answers to what's been inputted in.
Speaker 1:The answers are not going to come from the mind and that is what the mind will continue to bring stuff up for you to resolve and experience in a different way. But the answer is not here in the mind and that is why the presence becomes so important and that is why the presence becomes so important, because when you are sitting with all of self the physical, the mental, the spiritual, the emotional and then able to ask those questions that you were talking about, we don't have to pre-predict or be in control, because it's all an illusion anyway. Absolutely, and I think there's so many people out there that are suffering with this that are told, especially when it comes to living in the present, just stop trying to pre-predict the future.
Speaker 2:Just stop it.
Speaker 1:It's just like that. Just say no to drug statement. Just say no. Just say no. Do you know what I mean? It's so frustrating and it is also. It becomes such a safety mechanism for so many people and I think if they could understand that being here and understanding why that whole system got set up in the first place is where they're going to start to find the answers and not have to live in that system.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I think that's why the present moment, especially when you're doing this journey and you're aware of that statement and what that might represent it is very tricky to ask anyone to be in the present moment because of what it brings up in any of us and it will forever bring up stuff in us as we go through life.
Speaker 2:Why? Because we're constantly here to grow. We're constantly exposed to new experiences, new people, but it's within the present moment that we have the greatest opportunity to grow with awareness, with our ability to question, to grow with awareness, with our ability to question, and that can be an exciting part of the journey when we have all the tools and those realizations and the know-how which is a huge part of it. So I think that's why I wanted us to have this conversation, because if you oversimplify it, it can actually make things a lot more confusing, a lot harder, and we already have enough that we're trying to understand a process from the past that making it more complicated present day. It just never helped myself and, by the sounds of it, yourself on your journey. So I think it was important to have the conversation to bring into people's awarenesses of our experiences of this.
Speaker 1:And I think it's also important to bring that awareness that even when you started learning how to live in the present and I started to learn how to live in the present it wasn't something that happened the first try, the second try, the third try, the fourth try it was a practice and it was about consciously making that choice, about consciously making that choice and when the mind or the motions or the awareness took us somewhere else to drop the shame, to drop all of the expectation of where we were supposed to be and go, okay, so what just happened there?
Speaker 1:What was you know? To get really curious about why it happened, because that you, like you said, we're always in the present. Our awareness just might not always be in the present, and when we can bring our awareness back and understand what's going on, that's when it happens differently. But if you've lived 20, 30, 40, 50 years always not present, then learning how to be here is going to take a little bit of time and practice. I think one of the important things here, gareth, is for people to understand that when it's an analogy, I use all the time when we were small children and we were learning to walk and to talk, when we got words wrong, or when we stood up and took a step and fell down, no one walked over and put their foot on our back and went oh well, you fucked up, you've got to stay on the floor for the rest of your life. No one did that.
Speaker 1:What happened was there was an encouragement. That's so great that you had to try it. So great, try it again. And the more we try it again, the more we learn how to do those physical activities like walking or talking or reading a book or riding a bike, any of those activities.
Speaker 1:And I think when we talk about if we haven't been present to what's been happening to us because, as you said, we're always in the present we just might not have been present to where we were in our life and what was going on then let's have that same sort of compassion and know it's going to. Then let's have that same sort of compassion and know it's going to take that practice, know that it's going to be that. Oh okay, where'd I go just then? What was that about? And being able to come back and have an understanding of what had shown up for you in that moment, instead of blaming and shaming and feeling like a failure, and the more we have that compassion and the more that we're able to practice it, then it doesn't become a task to achieve, it becomes a relationship with self.
Speaker 2:And I couldn't agree more. But this is where taking a whole new approach on the present moment is actually, I think, what's needed for a lot of people, especially if you've found that doing it the other way just hasn't been working or you haven't been finding peace within it. If it has worked for you, I am so happy for you.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:But if a lot of people were, it's helped a little, but not a lot, and maybe it's time for something new. That's what I needed and that's what I ended up getting and that's why I came into my life to win. It did, and but this is where, instead of trying to focus on the present moment of it, trying to be silent, how about we actually lean into the noise a little bit? What I mean by that is by leaning into what the present moment is trying to tell us in mind, body, emotions, soul, and by actually having a list of questions of okay, I'm noticing this in the present moment. Where does that come from? I'm noticing this emotion. Why is that present? This thought is there. That's random. Why is that thought there?
Speaker 2:And normally, when I start working with someone, with myself and Michael, I ask them to write 700. Why questions? Just the more questions that they can feed myself and Michael. I asked them to write 700. Why questions? Just the more questions that they can feed myself and Michael? The more answers we provide them. You can see all the little connections starting of them beginning to understand self, because it's not that they're not capable of doing that, it's just I've never been given the opportunity to do that. As you were saying earlier, sometimes we need to lean into the noise in order to find peace and have the willingness to ask why and to educate ourselves and, as you and I have talked about so often, getting more curious about all of this, and that's what a lot of us never had the opportunity to have from a very young age.
Speaker 1:I just love the fact that when you're talking about leaning into the noise, because we are so busy running away and if we just lean in and get curious, just kind of fall into place in a different way- but this is what hit me, it's my noise. Yes.
Speaker 2:I'm not leaning into your noise or my neighbor's noise. This is going on within me, so if I'm not going to lean into it, who am I going to expect is going to do that?
Speaker 2:it's my journey, it's my responsibility, it's my life, it's my thoughts, it's my emotions, it's my body, it's my spiritual journey. It's never a cookie cutter approach. It doesn't work. Every single person's journey is so unique and this is why I love working with my clients, because, for for every why? Question they ask me, it's a different answer every single time because everyone's life is completely unique and different. But in saying that, I highly recommend leaning into the noise and being willing to get curious and ask why these elements of yourself are appearing in your present moment.
Speaker 1:And on top of that, the little disclaimer that we always say if you have fear, if you're afraid that it's going to be too loud, it's going to be too overwhelming, it's going to be too. Finding someone that you trust, that is objective, that is outside of your realm or circle, that has the ability to help you gain that understanding in a different way, Because I know for myself in the beginning if I had leaned into the noise on my own, there would have been the fourth suicide attempt.
Speaker 1:I needed that outside help and I'm just being honest for the people out there because sometimes one of the reasons that we have some of the strategies that we have is because we are afraid, based on the fact that we didn't, we didn't understand it, couldn't handle it the first time, and we don't realize that we've grown and have different insights now and having that objective person present help. Just need to say that.
Speaker 2:I couldn't agree more. I hope from this conversation we've given people food for thought on the present moment, because I just love the fact that there is so many different versions out there and I think the more that it is discussed it'll help people understand what works for them on their journeys.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Couldn't agree more. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, then you might want to check out our online community. We built it to offer you the comfort of having a supportive community by your side, no matter where life takes you. Connect with like-minded individuals through our app. Navigate each step of the journey together with us by joining our Gareth Michael community. Here are a few of the things you're going to get. You'll get exclusive real-time access to live recording and events. Advance access to each new episode. The opportunity to ask questions directly of Gareth and I. Input into what topics we cover in the show. Access to exclusive content not available anywhere else. To learn more about our community, please go to wwwgarethmichaelcom. Thanks again, and I hope you guys are having a lovely week.